Schizophrenic love
by 4ever-a-fairy
Summary: She is schizophrenic. She lives at the edge of two different worlds. But when she suddenly meets him, why is it that both her worlds are turned upside down? She is falling in love with the fruit of her imagination - or not? Which world does he belong to and how can she survive the arrow of Cupid?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! If you clicked on this story, it means you are interested, so –yay!**

**But I should warn you, this story is **_**sad**_**. Only a little before the end it begins to get better, but I myself say it's worth it. It's definitely a happy ending. I'm already saying this because I intend to make this a three-shot story (if that is possible) or something like that. It's just a plot. No action, like in the rest of my stories. Anyway, to cut this talk short, I'm only telling you to enjoy the first chapter and, if possible, I'd love to hear your opinions, especially if I should continue with it or not.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Fairy Tail AND I've changed the 'rules' of schizophrenia. In normal conditions, schizophrenic people live in their own world, and it's much more scary and depressing. So I can say I've added a few impossible facts that you should keep in mind they're not real.**

_People say there are great possibilities that when being placed in situations of great stress or such issues affecting the brain, a person is going to end up with a grave illness. When I first read this information in an article, I threw the magazine against the wall and closed myself in my room for the rest of the day. It is just ridiculous how the scientists who come up with such theories think they know everything. When I spoke to my father about it, he told me to the scientists were right. He told me to stop being silly or pretend that I am the one who knows everything. I ended up ignoring dad the rest of the week. I was so pissed._

_Of course I knew the scientists were right. It was just that I wasn't ready to acknowledge the truth yet. After all, I had experienced that theory myself. And it hurt._

_I know well how the hypothesis of an intelligent man can turn out to be true._

_But, you probably don't understand a thing I'm saying. _

_Let me explain._

_It all began when my father and my mother fell in love with each other. Their lives were so wonderful in their simplicity, that they couldn't ever complain about anything severe. One year after they married each other, my mother got prepared to give birth to my older brother. The pregnancy, however, went wrong due to her body's weakness. In the end, the baby died. _

_The pain she and my father had to endure after the loss was enormous. At first, nobody suspected anything, but throughout the following year, my mom began to act strangely. Blaming everything on my brother's death, father ignored it._

_Two years succeeded. Mother was pregnant again, this time with me. New hopes arose in the Heartfilia family. The sun was bright again and the colors shone once more in our house. _

_But my mom's organism never got stronger. _

_When the time to give birth to me came, something happened inside her brain. Something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. In the end, the birth turned out successful, and I, a strong healthy girl, came out into this cursed world._

_After she returned home from the hospital, my mom was obviously not well as she had once been. It only took my father three days to realize that she had gotten a hold of something that could never disappear. _

_My mother had schizophrenia. My mother suffered from a serious disorder of the mind and brain, and it was all because of the stress during the pregnancy. It was all because she gave birth to me. I never realized this until that day. The day that I can never forget and the day that I still live in my dreams at night. In one early morning, she was woken up by the 'other people'. The other people, whom nobody beside her could see, persuaded her to go for a walk. She was so afraid, I know she was. But since they were threatening her with hurting me and my father, she obeyed._

_And she threw herself off that cliff._

_I was ten years old when my mother unconsciously committed suicide. _

_My father's life and mine had suffered a complete change of track. We were destroyed. He always did his best to hide his feelings in front of me, but I knew how each and every night he was going outside in the cold for a walk. He was crying, shouting his despair and cursing the illness of schizophrenia. I know, because I would always stay by the window and watch him while crying silently. _

_I can still hear her heartbeats when I close my eyes…_

_Ever since her death, I've always blamed myself. If I weren't there, then she would be here. I was the one who caused that disorder to happen._

_Every person dear to us, my father and I, pity the misery our family has been suffering through the years. They all hate schizophrenia along with my father. _

_And I do too._

_That's why I hate scientists. Because they are always right. Everything they say is true. And then why aren't they changing things? Why are they only talk, but no action? So what people get schizophrenia due to stress? So what schizophrenia is serious? Why can't they do something instead? My mother died because they weren't able to do anything. My mother died because people like them only give you the explanation without the cure. _

_I'm sad for my father because he has to go through so much pain. I try to support him with all my might, but sometimes I can't do a thing. Sometimes, I can only sit back and watch him suffer like that. _

_But I'm scared, too, daddy._

_I can't get rid of the sight of her absent eyes, the eyes that never, in my whole life, looked me in the eye. They only saw through me, they only looked at others, but not at her own daughter who was longing for her so much._

_Even so, this is not what scares me most. _

_We all hold a secret deep inside our hearts, and I've never claimed mine to be one of the greatest. Even so, because of that secret of mine, I'm often afraid to even face my father. It used to happen more often when I was younger, but fortunately, lately I've been feeling better._

_Alright, long story short, ever since I was small, I've managed to keep that secret well, without my dad suspecting a thing. Thing is, while some people like mom get schizophrenia due to stress, there are some different cases in this world, where you can only be unlucky to get 'infected'. And even though there are very rare cases in which these people are still very conscious, it still is ruining lives. I know it from self-experience._

_Because I, Lucy Heartfilia, 17 years old, student in a random high school, am suffering from schizophrenia, which I inherited from my mother._

_And this is where my story begins._

~Gilbert Adams Academy, 15 December 2013~

A strong smell of chocolate fills my nose and a smile cracks on my dry lips. I breathe in the morning air and stretch my arms and legs, glad to find out that I can still move after so many paralyzing hours of the night. Resisting the urge to remain still in my soft bed, I push off the thick blanket with my legs and wait a few more moments.

''Lucy! Time to get up! You'll be late for school!'' my dad shouts from the kitchen. The image of that man wearing a pinafore and an old chef hat, holding a frying pan and cooking my breakfast makes me giggle. Dad never knew how to cook, but judging from the delicious smell of chocolate, I think I might be able to allow him to fill my stomach this morning.

It's not like he's always cooking. It only happens two times a year and since it's not Christmas yet, it could only mean one thing.

Holly jumps up on my bed and licks her purple paw. I eye her tiredly and then cover my face with my pillow.

''Happy birthday.'' she says without even moving her little pout. Today she's wearing a huge red ribbon around her thin neck which I rather think doesn't suit her. Her green tail is slowly swinging from one side to another and those two sharp eyes of hers are looking directly in the wall beyond my head. The door opens fast without me hearing.

''Why are you here?'' I ask silently.

''Well since you don't seem to have any intention of waking up, I felt the need to insist.'' Dad's head pops out with enthusiasm and I immediately jump out from the bed. I look at him fast and, as expected, his happy smile was directed to me and myself only.

''Mornin' dad!'' I chirp and throw him a hug, which I only do rarely. I was taken my surprise by him, but once again, I got away with a reply to the cat fitting in with the situation. I hide my face in his good-smelling shirt and wipe the sleep off of it. He hugs me back surprised and chuckles.

''How's my favorite daughter doing this lovely morning?''

I retreat from the hug and look out the window fast.

''Is it snowing?''

He laughs.

''No, unfortunately not. It's a wonderful sunny day.''

''Then I'm not as good as I hoped I'd be.'' I answer and walk away sadly.

5 shouts and I flinch and turn my head in the direction of him. The monkey fell of the wardrobe and is now laying on the ground. Dad frowns and looks at the wardrobe, where my eyes are directed.

''Is something the matter?'' he asks confused.

''No, it's just that I remembered today I have to dress up, but I didn't prepare anything special, did I?'' I smile sweetly. ''It's a special day, after all.''

Dad also smiles, tricked by my fast thinking.

''Get ready for breakfast, alright?''

I nod shortly. He stops before exiting the room.

''Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot!''

He turns around with a bright smile deepening his wrinkles.

''Happy birthday, Lu.'' He kisses my forehead gently and then leaves for good.

I wait a few moments without moving a muscle. 5 approaches me without a sound and it was only then when I notice Holly is gone. I look at the monkey coldly.

''What do you want?''

He looks straight at my neck.

''Happy birthday.''

''Did Holly tell you it's my birthday?''

''Who's Holly?''

I sigh and begin searching through the closet for a neat dress to wear at school.

''You should take the green one in the back of the second shelf.''

As I turn my head slowly, I look at Seventh Degree questioningly. She is the first human I'm seeing today aside from my dad.

''How did you get in my room? I didn't hear the door open.''

She's looking straight at my feet without saying a word. I wait for her reply, but then I flinch surprised. She's not looking into my eyes. So she's not real.

It's a miracle that I can still make the difference.

I look at the back of the second shelf as told and I am surprised to find a dark green dress. I open my mouth to ask Seventh Degree how she knew about this dress, when I realize she's no longer there. 5 left, too. I'm alone again.

Twenty minutes later, I walk into the kitchen allured by that delicious smell.

My father was wiping clean some plates when he turns around and smiles at me. His eyes slip down on my body and his smile vanishes. I look surprised and questioningly at him.

''Lucy…'' he starts.

Is something wrong with this dress?

''Where did you get that dress from?'' he asks with shaky voice.

''I found it in my closet.'' I lie. I wasn't actually going to tell him Seventh Degree told me about it. That girl could be actually scary when I talk about her to other people. Sometimes she'd even hurt me if she's in a bad mood.

''That dress…'' he began explaining while his eyes were watering. ''…Belonged to your mother…''

''…Am I not allowed to wear it?'' I ask calmly.

''No, it's just that…'' he hesitates, until he just gives up on his idea. ''It looks great on you. You look so much like her… It's… a perfect resemblance.'' his voice breaks, so he turns around and keeps silent.

I stand a few more moments and then take a seat. I forget everything about that little scene when I see the huge chocolate cake on the table. My whole face brightens in a grin.

''Are we seriously having cake for breakfast?'' I ask laughing, changing the subject.

Dad isn't answering. I throw a glimpse in his direction and wonder if I can dig in. I sit patiently and wait until he eventually directs his attention back at me. Aside from his eyes a little red, he is partly recovered and smiling.

''Go ahead and start eating.''

I grin and chuckle, but then stop and stare into the whiteness of the cream, covering a thickness of chocolate, just how I love it to be.

''Aren't you going to sing to me?''

He looks at me surprised and then starts laughing a little forced. I also laugh and I feel grateful that he's back. I look again at the cake and I suddenly notice the sixteen candles fixed carefully into the white cream. I frown and count them again.

''Dad, I'm turning seventeen, why are there only sixteen candles?'' I giggle because I made it sound like a big deal. But father looks at me surprised and then at the cake and then back at me. He doesn't seem to share my joyfulness. After hesitating, he eventually speaks confused.

''W-what do you mean?'' he pauses. ''There aren't any candles.''

I try to keep my body from reacting to the surprise. I freeze and throw another look at the cake. There are no candles.

5 is laughing holding his round tummy. He is holding in his feet the twelve candles, six in one foot and six in the other. Tricking me like that seems so funny to him, that he can't stop laughing. Dad can't hear anything and he just remains confused in the silence.

''D-Did you want candles? Is that what you meant?''

''Well…'' I start, thinking of an excuse. ''Didn't we have those candles from last year? I was saying that in addition to them, there should be one more!''

''O…Oh!'' he exclaims and laughs surprised, but he can't trick me. He's still confused.

I eat a small slice of cake and then hurry to get ready for school. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating between so many walls.

…

Double Bob is following me again today. I ignore him, looking down at my feet as I pass by many other students of Gilbert Adams academy. I try to stay invisible as much as possible, I don't want any problems with them.

''Happy birthday.'' Double Bob says neutrally while flipping his small grey wings. He lands with his sharp claws on my head and is hurting me. He's also ruffling my hair, so I try to push him off. This annoying mixture of a parrot and a frog weights much more than such a creature normally would, and that is surprising me even more. There is one day a month when he comes and sleeps on my stomach making me suffer so much. My father always tells me they are gripes, and I try to believe him, but Double Bob is always there when it happens, so it just seems a little strange for it to only be a coincidence.

I feel a small hand tap my shoulder gently, so I turn my head surprised.

''Why are you ruffling your own hair?''

The girl who spoke is Levy. She is my best friend and also… my only friend. She is a sweet and cute girl that I admire and care for. She also cares for me a lot, and what's most important – she is the only person in the world who cares to hear what I have to say. You know what I mean. I'm talking about 'them'.

I freeze and stare into her deep, joyful, green eyes. I flinch and take down my hands embarrassed.

''I… It's not… what is seems…'' I say, my cheeks flushing and my eyes looking away.

She looks at me surprised and then cups her own cheeks and squeals.

''Awww~ You were so cute just now!'' she shifts a little more so touched about my 'adorableness' and then gets serious again. ''Let me guess. It was Double Bob again, wasn't it?''

I look at her and appreciate for the millionth time the fact that she's there for me. She not only knows about my schizophrenia problems, but she takes them seriously. I nod and look at my worn shoes.

I brush my hair with my fingers while be start walking side by side towards the school gates.

It's strange, but when Levy is there, they all go away. Double Bob is no longer there, nor is 5 or Holly or Seventh Degree. Not the rest of them either.

''How was your day, Lu-chan? I mean, yesterday.'' she chirps.

''It was good, I guess.''

I immediately remember about how Jake cut my hand, but I don't mention it. I don't remember Jake ever looking in my eyes, so I don't suppose he's real either.

''Oh, that's right.'' Levy looks at the blue sky dreamingly. ''I wonder what day was yesterday…''

I look at her shortly and then dodge a glare from a student.

''You don't know what day was yesterday?'' I ask.

''I think I know… but I'm not sure. What about you? Do _you_ know?'' she grins at me suspiciously.

''14th December?''

''EEEP! Wrong!''

''What are you talking about?''

''It was…'' she begins and then suddenly throws herself at me, hugging my organs out. ''The day before your birthday!''

I whimper happily and then we both start laughing.

''Happy birthday, Lu-chan!''

I grin and thank her, hugging her back.

''Oh? Is it Lucy's birthday?'' a familiar voice asks amused.

Levy and I froze and our stupid grins disappear. We both look at Gray's big figure. The raven haired guy is looking with a sarcastic smile and with his arms crossed at his chest at us. I can hear Levy swallow and I know we both feel scared. Gray was never alone so, of course, the other guys in his group show up, along with Gray's girlfriend and the other popular chicks. Oh, woops, nope, he changed his girlfriend again. This time, it's a beautiful girl with blue curly hair, white soft skin, clinging on his neck and pressing her huge chest against his, throwing curious and bored looks towards us two girls that are now surrounded.

''Gray-sama…'' the girl speaks with a sleepy, sensual voice. ''Who are these? Juvia has never seen them before.''

Gray is the most popular guy in school. His reputation went beyond our gates only and he's well known in every single academy in town. We all know he is soon going to become even more popular than that. He is in his third year of high-school, but he's repeating it the second time. That is the first reason he's so popular –he's the oldest in the entire academy. The second reason is that he is amazingly handsome and dreamy – or so say all the girls. Even Levy had a crush on him once, but ever since he started bullying the two of us, she hates him most. The third reason is that he is _strong_. But when I say strong, I mean STRONG. He is very good at self-controlling, so you don't often get to see him beating the crap out of somebody, but when you do, no matter how much you hated the person being beaten, you can't help but pity them to the point of crying. It's just horrible how strong a person can be. You should see him at P.E. when he changes his shirt. Well, it once happened for a bunch of girls to take a glimpse at him and they ended up in the nurse office having a horrible nose-bleed. I myself never saw him, and I don't think I want to either. Alright, too much for the third reason. As for the fourth, he's super rich and he can do _anything_ he wants. Those should be split in two different reasons, but let's just leave it be. Teachers never complain a word about him or about what he does, and he always gets away with what he's doing.

Take this situation, for example.

We're surrounded by a group of nine guys looking so fiercely that it gives me the creeps and in front of us, Gray is grinning so devilishly that I can almost read his intentions.

The chick called Juvia frowns and buries her face into Gray's uncovered neck.

''Juvia doesn't like that look in the blonde's eyes. She's scaring Juvia.''

The guys chuckle and give each other obvious looks. The other girls begin squealing in such a fake manner that it disgusts me.

''Ow~! What will we do? She's looking at us so fiercely as if she's going to eat us!''

Gray is looking at his girlfriend smirking and waits for a reaction. She is fixing me with her glare and it's already obvious she's got her attention on me. If she was just a random girl in school, I'd be fine with that, but everybody knows that Gray's girlfriend is like a queen of the school. He does everything she wants. And that includes actions out of his interest.

''Juvia doesn't like the blonde. She's ugly. Who is she?''

Gray smirked wider.

''She's _so_ ugly.'' a girl commented.

''Look at that old-fashioned dress.'' another one laughed derisively. ''Who wears that anymore?''

''It's not that it's old-fashioned. It's ten times uglier than her face.''

They all start laughing along with the boys. I grit my teeth and suddenly see 5 laughing along with them. Levy is clinging on my arm and I can feel she's trembling. Out of the blue, somebody smacks the back of my head and I fall on my knees, ripping my skin on the rough ground. I grit my teeth harder and try to hold my tears back.

''That was a compliment, bitch! You should know how to appreciate!'' a girl screams at me, the same girl who hit me. ''You should say thank you!''

They all laugh even harder. I rise up slowly and look directly in Juvia's eyes, who looks back at me with a small smile of pleasure. But then she suddenly frowns.

''Gray-sama… She's looking at me like that again.''

''What do you want me to do?'' he laughs.

''Make her not be able to look like that at me.''

''I can't get her eyeballs out, baby. That's a little too much.''

He looks at her with a smirk.

''Why? I thought nothing was too much for you.''

''But if I do that, she won't be able to see her friends anymore, right? We don't want to make poor schizzy cry, not do we?''

I flinch and widen my eyes.

''Leave us alone.'' I whisper with shaky voice.

''What was that?'' a guy exclaims amazed. ''She can actually talk? Schizzy can talk!''

They all start clapping their hands and cheering in such a scoffer manner. We attract a lot of looks. I look at Levy. She's trembling and she's keeping her eyes shut. She must be embarrassed. My body softens and I squeeze her hand gently. She raises her dark green eyes and sets them upon mine.

''Get out of here.'' I whisper. ''I'll give you an opening.''

But I am afraid myself and the truth is that I don't want her to leave. She probably read through my eyes, because she frowns softly and whispers back:

''I'm not leaving you, Lu-chan. You're my friend.''

I don't even have time to thank her, because a guy approached us and he's now caught my hair and pulled it back. I bite my tongue not to shout and shut my eyes from the pain.

''Yo, schizzy, whatcha' whispering about?'' he asks and the girls giggle. I recognize him as being Sting, one of the hottest playboys in the school, another detestable bully.

Juvia frowns deeper and directs her attention to Gray.

''Gray-sama? Why is everyone calling her 'schizzy'? What does it mean?''

Gray laughs and pushes his girlfriend away. Juvia looks at him surprised, but isn't insisting and just backs up.

''It means, 'Juvy-chan', that this blonde is schizophrenic. So we call her schizzy. Simple.''

Juvia suddenly looks at me filled with repulsion and takes a step back.

''Schizophrenia? You mean she can see things? How do you know?''

Levy squeals and as I direct my attention to her alarmed, I see that Gajeel, another bastard, caught her by the back of her shirt and pulled her in order to make fun of her. Watching my one and only friend in pain, I lose my patience and scream:

''Let go of her!''

After a small break of silence, they all burst out laughing, along with the other students who have gathered to watch the show. Just like every day.

I make a sudden move to jump and help Levy, but Sting is still holding my hair. He pulls it harder, I scream and fall on the ground.

''Let go of Lu-chan!'' Levy shouts.

I can't help a few tears popping out in my eyes. Tears of anger and frustration as to be so useless when trying at least to protect my friend. It always happens like this. If only they would leave Levy alone and bully me instead.

''How… low?'' I begin. ''Just how low do you have to be to have nine guys bully two girls like that? How can you even call yourselves men while being so?''

I am only able to Juvia's reaction, everyone else's being completely different. The girl's eyes widen and she watches me with shock, disgust and pity. The rest are laughing so hard that some of them are holding their stomachs. The guys, the chicks, along with the rest of the students gathered at the circus. I look at them confused. The laughter doesn't stop. Juvia also keeps staring at me a little scared. I don't understand. Why do they keep laughing? What did I say?

I look at Levy and realize with shock that she's facing the ground silently with her hair blocking any eye-contact. She's embarrassed. With me? Why?

Gray is the first one to stop laughing. He takes a step forward and everybody slowly stops laughing. He looks down at me and I bravely look back at him. He completely closes the distance between us and then lowers his body to my level. I swallow and try to stop my trebling. Now the silence is deep and that scares me.

''I'm sorry to disappoint you, schizzy…'' he pauses giving me a pitiful look and then grins repulsively ''… But there's only seven of us, together with the girls.''

I widen my eyes shocked and no matter how much I would've regretted it later for embarrassing myself even more, I unwillingly shoot my head backwards to look at the people of whom I thought were part of the gang. I see four guys and five girls giggling and looking in any direction aside from my eyes. I didn't recognize any of their faces; maybe they'll tell their names later.

Since I'd continue to look at them while the others couldn't see anyone, I even managed to give the creeps to Gray. He rises up and looks down at me.

''There's nobody in that direction, Lucy Heartfilia.''

This time, his voice sounded pitiful and a little mild. He is no longer making fun of me. Since the distance between us has been a little more than acceptable in the eyes of Juvia, the girl was now really pissed and I know she would be getting revenge later. She hurries to cling unto Gray after throwing me a murderous glare and suddenly kisses him. He smiles under the kiss and after tasting her a little longer, he pushes her away and starts walking. As he leaves, he calls over to his buddies:

''Let's get to class. We can take care of them later.''

They all obey and follow. Sting makes sure he gives me a last kick in my side before chuckling and leaving.

Soon, they all enter the school building and silence falls over the courtyard. I rise up slowly only to realize how much it hurts and to fall back. My knees are bleeding. I wait and hear Levy sobbing. I alarm and hurry her way. I hesitate.

''Are you hurt?'' I ask.

Holly meows and I look at her standing on the top of the gates, waiting for me to go to school.

''Go to the nurse's office.'' she says swinging her green tail from one side to another.

''You don't have to tell me that. I already know.'' I reply to her gaining a surprised, scared look from Levy. I look back at her and watch as her eyes fill again with tears and she starts crying for good. I feel the impulse to hug her and fondle her like the mother I never had. But I stop, realizing that it's because of me that she's crying. I can feel my heart squeeze under an invisible pressure of sadness.

I let my hands fall beside my body and I bite my lip trying to hold back those annoying tears.

''I'm sorry, Lu-chan…'' Levy cries in her palms. ''I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…''

My sight gets blurry as I understand very well what she means. She can't control how she feels and how she reacts in situation like these; and even though she's hurting me, she can't do a thing.

Not even my best friend Levy can get used to my schizophrenia. It's only natural that I'd sometimes freak her out. My whole body is trembling and soon my shoulders begin shaking.

''It's alright…'' I whisper. ''…I understand…''

_I'm also scared, Levy. But I can't possibly tell you that_.

…

I'm looking at the birds flying outside the window and wonder if they're real or just the fruit of my schizophrenia again. The office ran out of bandages, so the nurse went to get some more. I'm sitting alone on a chair day-dreaming like always. I press my cheek against the cold glass and under my warm breath, a blur of opacity spreads only to disappear slowly right after.

A bat starts flying along with the birds, but they don't get scared, as if it's not even there.

The door opens fast and the nurse enters with quick steps. She's holding many papers and a folder, her eyes scanning them schematically.

''So.'' She begins and throws me a look only to realize I'm not paying any attention to her. My face remains stuck on the window while I'm staring bored at the bat.

She continues talking and complaining at something, but I can't hear her. She's writing something and talking. But I can only watch the clouds gathering so slowly on the surface of the sky. I want it to snow so badly. Since it's not likely for it to rain, I can't dare to even hope it'd snow. But that's what makes me want it. The view is limited in the horizon by the mountains, so small that I can't call them mountains. They look like hills. They're pathetic. If I lower my eyes, I can see a street that I've never wandered before in my life. It looks lonely. Nobody is walking there at this time of the day. The weather is also depressing, so it's not surprise no one wants to go outside. The small naked trees on the side of the street – which I'd rather call a countryside road in my imagination - mark the beginning of an even lonelier park. Some leaves are still hanging on the thin branches of those trees, while the rest of them are making a colorful carpet underneath. It's so boring. They all look grey. The only color that I can see in this picture is an orange shade of pink; salmon, if you'd like to call it so. I never knew the names of the colors, and I'm not even interested in knowing them. I hate colors. That's why I hate flowers. I want to take my eyes away from that salmon flower, when I suddenly notice it moved. I frown softly. Hold it, that's not even a flower, I think. I look more carefully and I realize it's a person. Funny way of beginning your day at school: confusing people with flowers. My eyes are stuck on that person in a bored manner. Judging from the shape of the body, I can tell he's a man. He slowly turns around and spaces out in a specific direction, so that I can hardly see his face. I never knew how to judge beauty, but if you ask me, I'd say he's probably cute. I don't know. It surprises me more that he actually managed to get my attention. I guess he's curious. Is it because of his hair maybe?

_Huh… _

_Interesting…_

_I wonder if he'd look me in the eye._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! I want to thank all of you readers for supporting with your reading (?)! Thanks to you, this story will now go on!**

The dirty bucket is thrown at me. I catch it clumsily and part of the water splits on my white shirt. It's so cold that it makes me squeal alarmed, taken by surprise. My shoulders rise and I almost drop the half filled bucket on the ground. The continuous laughter is hurting my ears.

''Don't forget the sponge!'' a red haired girl screams and throws it into my face.

''No, give her the rag instead!'' another chick yells. I shut my eyes and I feel another round of tears coming to surface. I try to cover my crying face, but the brunette pulls my hair back and begins to wipe brutally my face with a stinking rag. I shake my body in order to be freed, but she grips me harder. She grits her teeth and hisses in my ear:

''Stay still and endure it if you don't want to go through the same thing every day.''

The girls laugh and some of them approach me boldly. I can't see what's happening, but I can feel how I'm being pushed to the ground and kicked.

''The water is already spilled, what's the point of using so little? Let's just get rid of the rest and make her go get more.'' One of them proposes with a chuckle and they all agree.

Before they get the bucket from my hands, pouring the rest of liquid on me, I open my eyes and throw it at the red haired one.

''Luucyy…'' a voice calls softly, painfully.

The girl screams and steps back. Her miniskirt was only touched by a few drops, but I can see her face grimacing and she starts overreacting. The rest of the chicks gasp and I see the brunette clinch her fist. Wasn't she in the boxing club? I shut my eyes and before I could dodge anything, her punch is jabbed into my stomach and the pain I feel is too great so that I can't even scream. A shoe is pressed on the back of my head and I can feel every little rock on the ground being nailed into the skin on my forehead. I get so dizzy that I can't move. I fall to the side and before I could start breathing again, my lungs are contracting and I begin coughing roughly. Not even my hands pressing on my tummy helps. It hurts. It hurts so much.

''How dare you… You little whore…'' the red haired chick hisses. The shock of the ice-cold water being poured on my head spreads chills all over my aching body. They laugh again.

''Lucy, Lucy, LUCCYY!'' a couple of voices call my name in so different tones that it freaks me out.

''I think it's enough for now, girls…'' Juvia announces with a sweet voice, her eyes pinned down on the pathetic me. I can feel the smile under those words.

Tens of voices are suddenly gathering in my head. They're all calling my name, yelling, singing, sounding like they're ripping their lungs out only to make themselves heard. I whimper and cover my ears. The girls are all laughing so hard –my suffering is so sweet for them.

I'm trembling so hard and I can't help but feel like I'm trapped in a cave, in a pitch black box, locked inside so that no one could ever open it. It's so dark, so horrifying. And all those voices are calling my name. I can't make them go away. I want so badly to make them shut up. I hide my crying face between my elbows. A sharp sound in the background can be heard behind those voices. Now it's slowly starting to sound like a bell ringing annoyingly. I can almost see it as if it was a drop of water fallen into a huge puddle. The drop sank into it, only to come back to the surface in circles, in ripples that are widening, growing bigger and bigger until it overwhelms me. It becomes so unbearable that it almost covers the calling of those voices; it almost makes me think that any second now my ears would break into pieces. But it keeps growing, and the voices grow along with it; it soon turns so loud that I can't control my whole body begging for it to stop. I start shaking from side to side, pulling my hair and yelling myself hoarse.

''STOP IT!''

But they keep going: ''Lucy! Lucy…. Lucy… Luu~cy~!... LUCY!''

I scream unstoppably and I feel the need to tear my ears apart. My head feel so heavy; I strike it against the ground, but they won't go away. I do that again, then again and again. Stop it! Leave me alone! I pull my hair and my eyes go crazy. I get so dizzy that I can't make difference from earth and sky anymore. I let out a final cry and then… they are suddenly gone. Silence.

My body relaxes and I collapse to the side. I'm shaking, panting and hiding my bleeding face in my trembling palms. My strong heartbeats are slowly calming down.

The group of girls, who have watched the entire show wide-eyed, are holding each other scared. I can't see their faces, but I know they're frightened of my sudden crisis. Even though they were at the beginning laughing their mouths off, they are now looking at me with pale faces.

I continue crying silently, still freaked out of what I just experienced. I draw my knees at my chest and bury my face into my clothes.

It's so difficult to cry at your own chest.

The reason for the girls picking on me now is the event that happened yesterday. The chick-leader's - Juvia's -boyfriend Gray had approached me more than it was on her liking. So today, as I was going to the bathroom during a class, she and her bunch of useless chicks ganged up on me and started persuading me to do their job of cleaning the bathrooms. It turned out as you've seen, but who would've thought that I would face a crisis at such a moment?

It's so embarrassing I could die.

Now the entire high school will know how I sometimes act like I'm crazy. But assuming the persons spreading the news are Juvia's pooches, I doubt that'd be all. I wouldn't be surprised if the teachers send me to a lunatic asylum next morning. And it's all their fault that these happened. I hate them. I hate them with all my might.

All I know is that for now, I just want to cry in silence. I want to cry and get rid of it all. I just want to be left alone. I want to rest quietly.

It's silent. My sobs are the only thing that I can hear now. The girls have run away like the chicks they are. There's nobody left in the courtyard beside me. I'm alone again. I wait, and then let out a shaky breath that dashes the calmness of the air.

''Are you alright?''

I flinch. I recognize the voice of Seventh Degree and curse everything that has to do with my bloody illness, again and again.

''Leave me alone…''I whimper shakily through my teeth. ''Go away! Disappear already!''

''Lucy, I just wanted to see if you're fine.''

''DON'T CALL MY NAME!'' I yell hysterically with my eyes widened looking at the girl. Her long black hair is covering her face again, but I can clearly see those two golden eyes spacing out towards my forehead. Not my eyes, but my forehead. I let my head that started spinning fall back on the ground and my shoulders shake once more.

''Don't ever call my name. Never again, you hear me?''

''Why, Lucy?'' this time it was the voice of Jake. He appeared beside Seventh Degree and they were both looking at me, but not into my eyes.

I whimper and feel how the fear is starting to overwhelm me again. My eyes water again.

''I told you to stop.''

''Lucy.'' this time it was Holly's voice.

5 begins to jump around my body laying on the ground, screaming and clapping his small hands.

''Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy!'' he calls over and over again.

''Lucy?''

''Lucy!''

Many other voices started gathering and I whimper louder. I can't bare the same kind of pain again. I can't suffer another claw ripping my head apart anymore. I strew my ears and draw my knees closer.

''Stop it! Stop it, stop! Stop it this instant!''

They all start making even more noise. The same kind of chaos begins to pierce my senses again. At this extent, I think I'm going to throw myself off a cliff just like mother did. At least, I know I'd be freed from all of this.

I can feel how unstoppable tears roll down my dirty cheeks. My nose is also full and I can barely breathe.

''LUCY! LU~CYYYYYYYYY! Lucy! Lucylulululucyyyyy! Lucy… LU-''

''Are you ok?''

In the blink of an eye, along with that soft, mild and warm voice, it all disappears. As if they never appeared inside my head, the voices are gone. Just like that.

I throw my eyes open with shock.

I can't see anything because of my tears. My head is also so crowded and dizzy – I can honestly see nothing. I try blinking a few times, but I can only distinguish a dark figure of a person.

''Hey… Are you alright?'' that soft voice talks again. It sounded amazing. Picture the view of a crystal clear river diffusing mild soughs along with the sweet singing of skylarks under the whispering touch of the sun rays. I breathe in and the sensation that person is spreading inside me is indescribable. All I know is that I'm suddenly feeling warm and even though my mind is blurry, I can feel how the pain is slowly vanishing away as if it's frightened by a foreign, calming presence. After I blink more, I look again and I am able to see how it's the same person I saw yesterday through the window.

It's the man with the salmon hair.

Ah.

What's this feeling?

Why do my wounds feel like they're healing?

I see him thrust his hand to help me stand. I widen my red eyes and my heart flutters. It hurts; but it's a different kind of hurt. It's a kind of hurt that I don't want to chase away. And then, what people call hope is suddenly intoxicating me.

Is he human? Is he real? I can't see his face. Is he looking into my eyes?

There's only one way to find out. I raise my trembling hand slowly and direct it into his direction. He thrusts his more and waits for me to reach him. I suddenly feel how my head starts spinning harder and my ears pop. I can't feel the ground anymore. I widen my eyes and try my hardest not to lose consciousness before I find out if this person is able to look into my eyes of not. I grit my teeth and try to endure the sickness that's suddenly overwhelming me. I desperately look at him. Please, my heart is begging. Please, please be human. I need help. A human's help.

I let out a shaky breath and that was the last one I could manage. I whimper. There are a few inches apart from our fingers touching. Only a little left. Just a little.

And then, my ears can't hear anything anymore. Without me allowing them to do so, my arms fall and the rest of my body along with them.

I shortly fade away into a deep sleep that they call fainting.

…

I slowly open my eyes and by the time I recognize the blue-haired girl standing above me, she throws herself into a hug, crying like crazy. I blink heavily and try to remember what happened. Where am I? I can feel pain all over my body, but I'm having a hard time remembering why. I seem to be in a room- no, it's the office. The nurse's office at school. I close my eyes and try to calm my aching head.

Levy retreats from the hug and I look into her eyes filled with tears.

''Are you ok, Lu-chan?'' she asks while wiping her nose.

''Is she awake?'' the nurse calls out surprised and then approaches the bed fast. In the glimpse of an eye, I recall everything that happened.

''How are you feeling?'' the nurse asks worriedly.

I nod shortly and smile sadly.

''I'm fine.'' I reply quietly.

Levy hugs me tight again and tells me how worries she's been, but the nurse pulls her away telling her she has to be careful. Levy's hugs are, indeed, a little painful today.

''What exactly happened?'' the older woman asks. Please don't hide anything from me. This is a serious case.''

I look at her for a long time quietly. She frowns deeper seeing how I hesitate.

''You can trust me, Lucy. Tell me, who did this to you?''

''Nobody, Mrs. Bother.'' I reply shaking my head slowly. ''I tripped and fell off the stairs.''

The woman looks at me and then lets out a short laugh.

''How the heck does that work? You were in the courtyard, for goodness' sake, miles away from the friggin' stairs!'' she exclaims pissed. Everybody always gives the same explanation: I tripped and fell.

I look at Levy ignoring her. I frown softly.

''Was I in the courtyard?''

The girl eyes me sadly and worriedly. She nods shortly.

I take my hand on my bandaged forehead and close my eyes. Huh. So it wasn't that man. It wasn't him who took me here. At least he must've been the one who called for help. And then I wondered…

''Where did the salmon haired man go?'' I ask silently peeking outside the window.

Levy frowns and then looks at nurse without saying a word. The woman has the same reaction. None of them says anything. It's silent. I don't move a muscle, waiting and watching a bat that caught my attention. The two are trying to decide which one should tell me the truth that deep in my heart, I already knew.

''There was no salmon haired man, Lu-chan.'' Levy says hesitatingly. ''There was nobody there when I found you laying on the ground.''

Of course. I close my eyes and place the back on my hand on them. I let out a long breath. Silence falls in the room again and the only thing making a noise is the clock hung on the white wall above my head. I wonder how much I've been out. I wonder what class I was supposed to have now. Science? Maybe, math? P.E.? Or perhaps classes were already over and I am the only student left along with Levy.

The idea of being alone suddenly strikes me and makes me be afraid. The dark is also suddenly scaring me, so I shoot my eyes open and throw my hand away embracing the light and getting rid of the shivers. I sigh once again and look at my dear friend.

''What time is it, Levy-chan?''

The girl smiles. She always liked it when I called her 'Levy-chan'.

''Don't worry, Lu-chan. Not even forty minutes have passed since you left. We're still having History right now. It was so boring that I asked the teacher to let me go search for you.'' she laughs crushed.'' It took me a while, but when I found you, Lu-chan…'' her eyes start watering again. ''…I thought you were dead. You scared me so much, Lucy! Please don't ever make me go through such a fright ever again!'' she hugs me again tightly, hurting my weak body. But I hug her back and close my eyes.

''Thank you for worrying about me.'' I say.

_You have no idea how much I've needed you when I went through that crisis, Levy-chan. But I had nobody. I could only hug my knees. It's so lonely. So lonely…_

I squeeze her tighter and my heart aches so much for something that I can't name. I never knew the definition of that word that I was searching for, but I could name it in every way I want. It still doesn't make any difference, since I've never even felt it.

Oh. No, that's wrong. I _did_ feel it once.

And then the image of the salmon haired man pops out in my head. I get a little calmer remembering how warm his presence felt back then. If only… if only I could meet him again…

…

In the end, I fell asleep for the rest of the day. My father was, of course, announced, and after the classes were over, he came from his work place and took me home with his small Mazda 2 of which he's so proud. The rest of that week went smoothly, aside from the minor bullying and rumors about me being mad. And then, without realizing, a whole month passed. Every single day I've secretly waited for _him_ to show up. But in the end, I waited in vain. I never met him after that day.

Now, it's weekend. Saturday, to be exact. I'm sitting on a bench in the park. I just finished the little homework I had to do –or at least what I _knew_ how to do-, so I have the rest of the day for myself. I'm looking at the white sky and waiting. Yesterday night it snowed a little, so I'm waiting for the snow to appear again. It's January already, so why isn't the sky obeying?

''It won't rain, you know.''

''Shut up.'' I reply to Double Bob. ''I'm waiting for snow, not for rain.''

''You like rain more than snow.''

''What do _you_ know? Don't pretend you know me.''

''You like rain more than snow.'' he repeats with his pitched voice.

''I thought I told you to shut your trap.'' I whisper sill looking at the sky.

Silence falls in and I wonder after a while if he's still there. I, however, pretend I don't care and continue waiting.

''Stop waiting. It won't snow.'' Seventh Degree suddenly pops out saying. I can't control myself and look in her direction. Double Bob is also there, beside her.

I look at the sky again frustrated. I try to ignore them. But after a while, I find myself wondering something. I throw a glimpse in their direction.

''Seventh Degree?'' I ask. As expected, she doesn't reply. ''Can you touch me?''

I am thinking, of course, about that time with the salmon haired man. It's been eating me alive, this question; what if I hadn't fainted? Would he have been able to touch me? If so, how would it have felt?

''Of course I can.'' She answers and I look at her surprised. She isn't moving. That dark figure of hers if giving me the creeps. I think about me trying to touch her, but the bare idea is freaking me out. Of course I wouldn't have the courage. I don't even want _her_ touching me, but my curiosity is a little too powerful today. I throw another glimpse in her direction and I start sweating.

''W… Will you t-touch m…me?'' I shut my eyes and prepare myself for a regrettable experience. And I wait.

And I wait.

I open one of my eyes and look in her direction once again. She's gone. I am surprised, but for some reason, I sigh with relief. Double Bob is also gone. I wonder why. They are usually very exigent with their presence. I look down at my boots and I hold my hands together.

As expected, the silence fell in without any scent of humanity around me. Not as if I dislike that. The only fact saddening me is that there is also no scent of snow. I want snow. I close my eyes again and picture the hills covered with a thick white blanket, the sky pouring slowly as if it's a slow motion movie. And the trees have stolen the color of the clouds; their branches are heavily lowering towards the ground under that soft weight that I would love to sink into. The cold little snowflakes are so pretty and different from each other that I could stare hours, distinguishing their every small secret. If only the time would stop at that time. If only it would be winter forever. I could feel like climbing up those tiny particles of snow, rise towards the fluffy sky while see my reflection on an invisible ice surrounding me, lifting me up and…-

The sound of steps approaching makes me flinch, breaking me out of my day-dreaming. I look in the specific direction and … I am shocked to instantly recognize the one standing a considerable distance away from me. He stops and I widen my eyes. We look at each other. Or so I think. The distance is too big and I can't see his face clearly. His hands are stuffed in his black coat's pockets and he's wearing a pair of jeans. He looks normal. The only thing out of the ordinary is his salmon hair. It's so ruffled, but somehow looks so good on what seems to be a strong body. I can't keep a soft, mild smile from shaping my lips. That flutter of my weak heart is overwhelming me. Even so, I don't know what to do. I've waited so long for this moment; and when it finally happens, I'm stuck in my own infirmity.

He seems to have noticed me in a special way, too. Does that mean he recognizes me?

I rise up slowly without moving my stare away from his face. And then we simply stand that way, facing each other, but too far apart to look into each other's eyes. The wind blows softly, taking my hair away and chilling down the uneasiness in my heart. The weight of a soundless embrace from unknown feelings is too great for me to bear. I find myself pinned upon a wall with my heart being targeted by those foreign feelings. I can't understand my reactions. I can't read the handwriting of my emotions. That person, with his bare presence, has made me want for the time to stop even if it isn't snowing. It shakes me like the waves of the sea in the moment of its rage. It confuses me that once more, I can't understand the way people make me feel. Seventh Degree, Double Bob, Holly, 5… they all give me unreasonable shivers of fear. This person's gifted shivers are also unreasonable, but in a completely different way. He makes me feel comfortable. Warm. Happy and sad at the same time.

My lips part, but no sound can take form.

''Hi there!'' he grins. I look at him surprised and he immediately starts shifting nervously. ''Y-You probably don't know who I am, but… we've met before.''

His way of talking is so normal. He seems so much like a human.

He hesitates because of my silence. He opens his mouth to say something, but gives up. I stare at him unable to do anything. He keeps waiting for a reaction from me, but eventually, turns his head away.

Before he would leave, probably imagining how I think of him as being crazy, I am able to take a step forward.

''W-Wait!...'' I shout weakly. He turns his head back in my direction and once again I feel like we're looking into each other's eyes. I feel so loose… it's almost too impossible for me to break away from the cover of his presence. I take my hands to my chest and hesitate. ''I… I remember you…''

How could I have forgotten?

He seems to smile softly, but I'm not so sure. After another pause of silence, he talks:

''Last time, you were badly injured. Are you alright now?''

I nod shortly, slowly remembering how he had been there beside me while I was in pain. Well, now that I thought about it, I begin to wonder how he had entered the school.

I open my mouth to ask him, but he talks first.

''I'm glad.'' he says and his smile makes my heart beat faster. I shut my mouth and I am no longer able to ask anything.

Another long pause of silence falls over us.

''What had happened?'' he asks suddenly.

I lower my head and look at my shoes. Should I tell him? The truth, I mean.

''Are you… '' he begins and then makes a pause ''Are you being bullied by your colleagues?''

He places his hands deeper in his pockets and waits. After a long time, I nod slowly.

''And don't you intend to do anything?'' he protests politely. But then he looks away and apologizes: ''I'm sorry. I shouldn't butt in like that. It's none of my business.''

I don't say anything. What _should_ I say? I'm feeling awkward, even though I'd say it's a comfortable awkward.

''Then…'' he says hesitatingly and smiles. ''It… It was good seeing that you're fine.''

He waits another moment.

''Good day.''

I bite my lip and set my eyes upon his figure. I nod shortly as a 'goodbye', but he no longer sees me. His hand pushes softly the black, metal gate of what seems to be an enormous courtyard of an enormous house. He then enters and disappears from my view. Instead of being amazed by the possibility of this person being wealthy, I'm amazed that I just talked to him. I'm still shocked that I got to meet him again. I had started to think that he isn't real, also! And now, I am facing hope again.

A wide, happy grin blooms on my face and I place my hand on the side of my fast beating heart. I realize my palms are all sweaty from being nervous. Why _was_ I nervous? I can't understand myself! I can no longer get what my heart is trying to tell me. All I know is that I'm amazingly happy and I suddenly feel like I'm not that far away from home anymore. I never knew where this _home_ was, but bit by bit, I think I'm starting to learn.

It somehow, unexpectedly, surprisingly, _shockingly_ has to do with a pretty shade of salmon. But only after a long time I would find out this fact.

For now, I'm still trapped inside a box.


End file.
